


Bloodmoon Jhin: A Bad... Dream

by TentaChicken



Series: Bloodmoon Jhin's Tale [8]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Gen, Some minor blood and death mention, it's mostly just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 14:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15098765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TentaChicken/pseuds/TentaChicken
Summary: Jhin has another bad dream, but things turn out to be quite odd within his usual nightmare. Maybe something else is going on?It's a short drabble focusing on my Bloodmoon Jhin's backstory, and insight on the grief he feels for what happened to his firstborn, Kano.Side Note: The 'Jae' mentioned is actually another Jhin (It's SKT but he has a role of being an 'angelic' counterpart to BM Jhin) using a different name because I'm differentiating all of these Jhins.





	Bloodmoon Jhin: A Bad... Dream

What usually started off as the usual nightmare had devolved quite rapidly.

Jhin slowly opened his eyes and found himself residing in that familiar spot, looking down upon the bloodied mass that was once… quite possibly the only human connection he had in the world.

His firstborn.

One of his eyes were already sliced to bits, with fluid and blood dripping from the sockets. His face was contorted in an expression of pain that he could almost feel, with his teeth clenched to bite through it all. There were tears in the remaining eye, and every time Jhin saw the he could see something new. He could see himself in those tears. It was another reason why he had become so distant to reflective surfaces in the waking world as well. Jhin hated how reflective they were, he hated it he hated it so much…

Then, something changed.

The transition in his sight was odd, as if there was a blur in his eye, something obstructing his vision. Jhin closed his eyes tightly, then opened them.

There he was, in the _flesh_.

Kano was breathing heavily, as if exceptionally frightened, but took advantage of Jhin’s hesitation and confusion. He managed to heave Jhin to the side and slam him roughly on the side of the head with a blunt object. Jhin saw Kano wipe the trickle of blood from his mouth, and glare down at him before he finally lost consciousness.

The fogginess and uncertainty was felt despite his sight being blacked out. Was he really dreaming? It the side of his head was throbbing painfully, as if it hurt… actually hurt.

When he opened his eyes, Jhin didn’t expect to still be dreaming. That’s what it had to be, right? His back was pressed against a large tree, his hands and feet tied tightly with thick ropes. Kano was sitting next to him, tending to his own wounds. He let out a low hiss as he dabbed at his wounds with a moist cloth. Jhin tried to struggle free, but Kano had done an exceptional job of making sure there was no way he could escape. “Ka…no.” He gasped out, still feeling the effects of the blunt object as he tried to speak.

Jhin was ignored for a while, until Kano flashed his eyes at him. “What.”

“This isn’t happening, I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming. What’s happening?”

Kano gave him an odd look, filled with annoyance and anger, but with a tinge of concern. “You _are_ mad. They weren’t joking.”

“I’m not mad!” Jhin snarled. “You… you died. You’re supposed to be dead. Dead.”

“You’re losing your grip on things. And, I do certainly look dead.” Kano gestured to himself. “Dead people walk and talk and breathe, yes?”

“No… no.You don’t understand.”

Jhin saw who he thought was his son look at him, as if genuinely curious. “What exactly do I not understand, Khada?”

Thoughts swarmed his mind. Angry and sad thoughts like hornets buzzing loudly in his ears. Decades of grief and confused sadness. Regret, and sorrow. How many times had he wanted to change what he had done in that moment? How many times did he dream, that it has not occurred in the way it had back then? Even the mere memory of his child would drive him insane. It took years and years to recover, and even then Jhin hadn’t fully come to terms with it. How could he say anything in this moment that would convince Kano that he wasn’t mad, that he had experienced, no. LIVED a tragic and grueling existence, which a lot of it had been due to this moment... that hadn’t occurred?

He wasn’t even aware of how he had been softly mumbling and whispering to himself. Kano took another long look at his captive and gave a deep sigh. “What a disappointment… you really looked like you could have killed me.”

Jhin slowly stopped his mumbling and raised his head to look at Kano, who was gazing off to the distance. “Soon, they will come to get you. You will be imprisoned and executed, finally punished for your crimes against Ionia.” He stood and looked at Jhin with contempt.

“Your son. As if…” He trailed off, and crossed his arms. There was a beat of silence in between them, interrupted by the chatter of birds in the branches above.

 _As if?_ Jhin was stabbed by this invasive thought. _What does he mean by that?_ He had always assumed the assassin had been of his blood, and that was what had terrorized his mind and soul for ages. And yet…

 _It wouldn’t have been impossible to find out there was a child of the “Golden Demon”._ _If he was really devoted to his cause, he could have impersonated him…_ The thought seemed to attack his heart directly, making his legs feel weak. He hadn’t considered that in all his years of grief. It was a shocking thought. He had grown accustomed to the fact that he had several chances to be a father, and yet was a failure every time…

“I’d be ashamed if you were my father.” Kano spoke, breaking the flurry within Jhin’s mind. “Blood means nothing. You never knew anyway.”

“I know.” Jhin croaked. “But things could have been different.”

“Oh, could they? Do you think I could throw away a life filled with hatred and a deep desire to rid the plague that cursed my very existence? Do you think it’s that easy?” Kano had lunged towards Jhin and grabbed him by the collar, shaking him. “You are not only mad but foolish. As if anyone of blood connection to you would ever be proud to have you as a relative. You are a monster, Khada. If you were foolish to seek that connection only humans can make, then you are a really stupid monster.” Kano dropped Jhin roughly, and he felt his head hit the wood with a loud thunk. “If you really believe things could be different just because I told you that you may have sired me, then I’m shocked how you haven’t been caught and dealt with ages before.”

 _I don’t know either._ Jhin thought bitterly. Everything in his mind was a mess. He couldn’t tell how real things were, and what was happening. All he knew was the throbbing pain aching in his chest. _I want to stop hurting, it was a foolish mistake, one that spurred on every. Other. Stupid. Mistake. I’ve made._

“Oh, here they come.” Kano said, as the ringing of bells could be heard from the distance. “They’re here to capture you. Any last words, Jhin?”

Jhin lifted his head. The mask was killing him, the heat and moisture trapped between it and his face was unbearable, uncomfortable to the extent he wanted to rip it off right there if he could. “Wake me up from this nightmare.”

Kano smiled. “You’re not dreaming, Jhin.”

He could feel the droplets sliding down his neck.

“Do you think you’re ready to die, now?”

There was a stretch of silence. He was waiting for an answer.

Everything hurt. Tears were dripping with no end now.

“I’m ready.”

“Good.”

Jhin closed his eyes and relished in the darkness hiding behind his lids gave. There were noises, people talking, more laughter… and harsh footsteps.

“Stop that, get away from him!” A loud bang, and the sound of shattering glass.

It curbed his curiosity, and Jhin opened his eyes. Jae was standing in front of him, his jeweled rifle smoking at the end. Foul dark ink was dripping from his arms, and Jhin looked at himself, and found the ink had been drowning him. It had been a hallucination… All of it.

The ink dribbled down, and returned to his body. Jhin flexed his claws and hung his head. He felt so exhausted… He felt completely out of it that he couldn’t face his savior.

Jae knelt down next to him and placed his gold tipped fingers on his shoulder. “The ink was trying to kill you; it was taking advantage of your vulnerability.”

Jhin was quiet, he didn’t say anything. What was there to say? Jae continued, “You did tell me the nightmares were getting worse. How the ink might be thriving off of the hatred of your former victims… You might be onto something.”

The air was quiet and cool. Thankfully it was blowing enough for the tear stained face behind his mask to find some relief. He was still shaking. He was relieved the darkness was enough to hide his eyes from Jae. Jhin couldn’t take it anymore and sunk closer to Jae, who seemed startled but reciprocated by holding him close.

How much longer could he endure these nightmares? The stream of tears refused to cease as he desperately tried to get air through his mouth. He felt like a mess. What a mess of a human, demon, whatever he was. He never felt like he could have hated himself more but, alas. He was wrong.

It was just a terrible hallucination, yet it felt so real. It was the sheer reality of it that made Jhin wish he were dead.

But he wasn’t. And he hated it.


End file.
